To a hearing person, the loss of sound is frightening. Panic worthy. As much as my cochlear implant and hearing aid help, there are times that wearing them is painful to my ear canal and head and I need small breaks without them to recover. Having "impaired" but viable hearing in one ear helps during these times. I can navigate the ins and outs of my day at home alone with only the residual hearing I have in my better ear.
I have longed feared that another sudden sensorineural hearing loss would rob me of what's left, even though my audiograms of that ear have remained relatively stable for several years now. I rely on that ear for better speech comprehension, media streaming, and music. My CI "helps" me hear, but it isn't really good enough for me to comfortably make it in my hearing environment alone.
Last week while spending a week at our Colorado cabin, I noticed my ear popping and equalizing the pressure as normal, but it was affecting the clarity with which I could hear, and there was an annoying ache deeper inside than I could explain. I could tell that my ears were compensating and I was hearing more from the CI processor than my hearing aid. I avoided playing a game with the family since I knew I was having trouble hearing. It was only after I retired to my bed to read some and I took off my hearing devices to experience the full impact of the dread I have always feared. Complete and utter silence. I could not even hear my own voice.
Panicked, I hastened my husband upstairs and he brought along my daughter, a physician's assistant in an ENT specialty. Without her instruments, she could only try to reassure me that with the earache, it was likely an infection or eustachian tube disfunction. I was lucky to get an appointment the next morning with a nurse practitioner at the local clinic in an adjacent town. Expecting that this small town clinic would have no experiences with sudden sensorineural hearing loss, my daughter came with me and examined my ear to find a retracted eardrum. Even when I "popped" my ear, it remained retracted and all sound above a slight vibration and buzz was gone. She suspected that it was a conductive loss because of the retraction, but given my history, she couldn't be sure. The only course of treatment was to receive a high-dose course of steroids once again, which is the prescribed treatment for both conductive and sensorineural hearing loss. She consulted with the nurse practitioner about the proper dose. Meds were prescribed and we were on our way.
4 days later, I have hearing in that ear again. Not as much as before, I can tell, but enough that my panic has subsided. I will see my otologist in 3 days for an audiogram. That will provide more insight into just what occurred last week. I am confident that I have not completely lost this ear, but I will most likely need a hearing aid adjustment to compensate for the event.
What surprised me through this time is how reliant I had become on my better ear and using only my hearing aid for my day-to-day tasks. I honestly don't like the CI and I don't wear it unless I will be in hearing environments that warrant better hearing. What I found out is that while my other ear has been recovering, my CI is better than I'd thought. I've done ok with it alone, if not as good as both ears.
For now, I have 6 more days of Prednisone treatment working to stop the attack on my ears and hearing. And I have a CI that I must don from sunup to bedtime now if I am to hear well enough to get through the day. I do not embrace this deafness willingly or graciously. It is the lot I've been dealt. And all I can do is deal with it.
I will keep you updated when I know more.