I Didn't Forget

August 14 came and went again this year.

I didn't forget that it was the anniversary of my sudden hearing loss.

I didn't forget to make a blog post marking the day that thrust me into muffled silence.

I didn't forget the moment my life changed forever.

I didn't forget the audiogram that determined my level of sound perception in my damaged cochlea.

I didn't forget the doctor's words when he told me my hearing loss was profound. And permanent.

I didn't forget the feeling of panic as I drove home. Fearing the impact deafness would make on my life. The desperation. And the dread.

I didn't forget the confusion and frustration as I tried to come to grips with a life where I couldn't understand conversation, television, radio, or take a simple phone call.

I didn't forget the challenges of learning about speech bananas, audiograms, decibels, hearing aids, batteries, dome tips, volume, wind noise, static, reverberation, feedback, vibrating alarms, strobe notifications, FM assistive listening devices, euro adapters, amplification, closed captioning, hearing impaired settings, ADA, and ear wax. Or cochlear implants.

I didn't forget the missed conversations, the "whats?",  and the "never minds."

I didn't forget appointments for CTs and MRIs and balance tests and audiograms and evaluations.

I didn't forget the misunderstanding, impatience, and cruel words of coworkers and administrators - spoken behind my back, but revealed to me by true friends -- as I struggled to cope and adapt.

I didn't forget the friends and family who offered support and empathy -- who lent an ear, directed me to places for help, cried along with me as I grieved.

I didn't forget the doctors and audiologists who expertly and patiently eased me into hearing aids, assistive listening devices, and cochlear implant programs that help me make the best of an imperfect situation.

I didn't forget the ones who repeat their words over and over, make the effort to speak clearly when addressing me,  or clip my microphone to their shirt so that I am included in their conversations. And their lives.

I didn't forget the children whose hearing loss I noticed -- and helped. Likely more aware because of my own hearing loss.

I didn't forget the people I've friended who've experienced sudden hearing loss, as well, and the encouraging word I can now offer to them because I know what it's like.

I didn't forget the resilience that hearing loss would force upon me. From utter devastation to coping to surviving to encouraging. To living.

I didn't forget.