Heroism: heroic conduct especially as exhibited in fulfilling a high purpose or attaining a noble end; showing great courage or ability; admired for brave deeds and qualities.
I'm no hero.
Though a few of my friends have called me so. They've been privy to some of my most innermost thoughts about my hearing loss. But I have a confession.
Living with hearing loss is not heroic. It's not brave or courageous or noble to wake each day, slap on my hearing aids, and duke it out in the hearing world. It is nothing to be admired. It is not a brave deed I do. It is simply what I must do.
My front is stoic -- seemingly unnerved by the day-to-day. Most people aren't even aware that I have profound hearing loss, and are surprised when they find me out.
But my behind is beaten. Weary, weakened emotions brimming just under the cool surface. Fear of the unknown. Tired and trodden. Seeking escape from conversation, company, and commitment.
That's not heroic.
I think if I am to be applauded, it should be for my resilience -- because I am neither brave, nor heroic. But I am resilient. And that is a good thing.
Resilience is heroic, friend.
ReplyDeleteTake a day at a time. That is all any of us can do. I ask for strength and push myself to make it through a day at a time. When I put my CI and HA in the Dry 'n Store at night, I think "Well I made it". I hope you will consider writing for "Hearing Elmo", Bonnie. Your story is powerful and meaningful. Hugs!
ReplyDelete