You may have noticed the change of my blog's title.
I've decided this journey should come to an end. I'm not on a journey.
I've noticed there are so many "journeys" in life and so many people blogging about their particular life journey. We peruse our struggles in life as journeys quite often. But the definition of journey implies that there is a destination to be reached; there is an endpoint; it's a trip that at some point must come to an end. You have to arrive in a new place.
That's not really what my cochlear implant life is. It's not a journey. I'm not on a trip. I'm not traveling from one point to another. I may arrive figuratively at a new place mentally and spiritually, but I'm not really going any place new. I'm moving forward, but I don't anticipate that I will actually "arrive" anywhere. There is no end. No. This is not a journey.
So, is this particular time in my life an adventure? Most certainly, at times, it seems so. Perilous, unusual, and often hazardous -- I remember the times my magnet finds itself unexpectedly attracted to metallic objects that come close to it. Car doors, umbrella tines, and the metal necklaces of my hugging friends are just some of the times my cochlear implant unexpectedly leaves my head to pursue its own adventure without me. Only last night, I found myself crawling around on the floor next to my nightstand with a flashlight searching for the evasive ear hook that popped off while I was wiping my processor clean of it's daily grime --hoping to find it before the snooping noses of three dogs (who thought they were helping me) could find and devour it. Adventurous?
Yes. It can be an adventure. But an adventure connotes a sense of danger and excitement. And though there is some excitement along the way, I'm not sure that you could call my cochlear implant very dangerous. No. Adventure doesn't describe this walk any more than journey does.
I think what I have is actually an undertaking -- a task that I have taken upon myself, though unwillingly. It's a pursuit, a trial, a job. It's a task I have undertaken. I like this term much better. It delivers a sense of accomplishment; an awareness of overcoming difficulties as I learn and grow.
It's an undertaking of new life experiences, deeply affected by a hearing loss I am powerless to prevent, but can certainly transcend.
It's my life. It's my cochlear implant life.