If You Give a Girl a CI...

If you give a girl a CI, she will need rechargeable batteries to keep her processor conveniently working. So she will need a charger.

If she gets a charger, she will need an outlet to plug it into the wall near her bed. But since she has a lamp and her phone plugged in there, she will probably ask for an adapter with extra outlets to accommodate her new charger. So she will go to the store and buy an adapter.

Once she has bought an adapter and sees the extra outlets, she will want to fill it up. So she will probably move her Dry-and-Store box to her bedside so she can dry her processor and hearing aid each night without getting up from her bed.

Now that she has her Dry-and-Store box near her bed, she will notice that she cannot hear her alarm since she sleeps with her hearing devices off, and she will decide to get a Sonic Boom alarm clock with a bed shaker to wake her in the morning.

The Sonic Boom alarm clock with a bed shaker takes up too much space on her bedside table -- along with the Dry-and-Store box and battery charger, so she will need to move her lamp and cool-mist vaporizer to the floor.

When she moves her lamp to the floor, it no longer illuminates her bedside while she is reading, so she will need to get a floor lamp instead. She will steal the one out of her daughter's room and hope she doesn't notice.

Now that she can see to read again, she will probably notice that her nose is stuffy because the cool mist is too far away to help her breathe well, so she will need to move her cool-mist vaporizer back to the table.

If she moves the cool-mist vaporizer back to the table, she will have to make room by moving something off the table and onto the window sill. The Sonic Boom alarm clock with a bed shaker will fit nicely on the window sill.

When she moves the Sonic Boom alarm clock with a bed shaker to the window sill, she will notice how dusty the curtains are, and she will decide to take them down and wash them.

After the curtains are in the washing machine, she will see that the blinds are just as dirty as the curtains, and she will decide she must clean them, too. She will like the look of her windows without the curtains, so she will decide to leave them off.

If she leaves the curtains off, she will notice that she needs to vacuum the carpet behind the curtains, so she will go downstairs to get the vacuum. While she is vacuuming the carpet, she will accidentally sweep up the cord to her phone and ruin it.

Since her cord is ruined, she will need to go to the store to get a new one.

When she gets home, she will plug the new cord into her new adapter and notice that one outlet remains empty, so she will decide to recharge her CI's remote control.

Since she is recharging her remote control by her bedside table, she will need a little basket to store it in. So she will go back to the store to buy one.

While she is at the store, she will spend $55 getting other things she needs, too.

When she is putting away the other things she bought, she will notice the space between her table and the wall, and she will begin to think how nice it would be to have a bigger table.

But if she gets a bigger table, she will want to get more stuff to fill it up.

And if she fills it up with more stuff, she will need another adapter to plug them all in!