One Person

I've often heard that it takes one person to affect change. One. One person. One person to speak out. To begin a thought. A feeling. An action. One person to change an opinion. A mindset. One person to make a difference.

I find myself advocating for the deaf and hard of hearing often. Sometimes reminding people to consider others' differences and disabilities. Sometimes asking for patience and understanding. Sometimes correcting misunderstanding or misinformation. And just telling my story. I've had opportunities in face-to-face interactions and in this blog. Most, however, occur on social media.

Social media is a great place for sharing stories and life anecdotes. A place to laugh; sometimes to cry. Unfortunately, it is wrought with insensitive memes, quotes, and comments from people who just don't consider who may be hurt or offended. I'm sure I've been guilty of that, too.

Today, I was struck by such a meme -- one I chose to comment on both of the occasions that it crossed my news feed because it hits so close to home. The meme simply asked how many times one needed to say 'excuse me' to a person before they shouted 'get the hell out of my way.' It's not the meme that bothers me so much, but the mindset that spurred it.

I was astonished at the impertinence of those who commented under the posts, with numerical answers ranging from once is enough to suggesting that ramming the person with their shopping cart was acceptable. People who surely thought they were being amusing. I hope.

I could have scrolled past and ignored it, as I often do. Instead, I decided to comment on both posts that it was never acceptable to do that, not just because it's hateful, but because the person may be deaf or hard-of hearing and might not have heard them. I know it's happened to me many times. I'm only aware of those times because my daughters happened to be with me and nudged me out of the way. I'm certain it happens a lot when I'm alone, too.

The truth is that you don't know if the person is just being rude or if they simply cannot hear you. The presumption that the person is being rude and deserves a crude response is both uncivil and inappropriate. And insensitive. And people need to know that.

Living with hearing loss is no easy task in a world that takes hearing for granted. To presume that others can hear as well as another is an attitude that I hope to correct and change. One person at a time. One comment at a time.

Unfortunately, both of the posts appeared to be taken down after I commented, so my message was lost. Perhaps out of respect for me. Or embarrassment. Or because these friends have a new understanding. Whatever the reason, it is for the good. Two friends will think differently the next time someone doesn't move when they've been asked.

Invisible disabilities are real and prevalent. It's never okay to forget that. We can't assume the motives of others because we don't know why they act the way they do. And we shouldn't be rude because of that ignorance. We should consider the circumstances of others before we react. We should be kinder to one another.

That's what I hope we all learn.